MYUFPC CHAPTER 1
You are truly cruel, Your Highness, my eldest Princess
Jiashan knew that she probably didn't have much time left.
In January of the twenty-second year of Zhanghe, it seemed like the eternal deep winter. During this winter, the ailing Emperor Zhanghe passed away in the Qianqing Palace at the age of forty-two.
After the death of Emperor Zhanghe, Zhuang Fei, who had a long-standing grudge with Jiashan, was elevated to become the Empress Dowager Ciyiwen. Zhuang Fei's son, Zhao Youcheng, had already been designated as the crown prince during the emperor's lifetime.
With the passing of the late emperor, the crown prince naturally ascended the throne.
With the death of her father, Jiashan's only protector in her life vanished instantly.
Jiashan had originally been the only legitimate princess. After the new emperor's ascension, Empress Dowager Ciyiwen had two daughters of her own—Shu Xian and Hui An.
Now, they were also elevated to the status of legitimate eldest princesses alongside Jiashan.
To further enhance the prestige of the Empress Dowager, Shu Xian and Hui An's statuses became increasingly superior to Jiashan's, the original legitimate princess.
With everyone pushing her down, Jiashan could foresee her own downfall.
What she couldn't predict was that one day, she would die in such a decisive manner, by the sword of her own husband.
Jiashan and Zhan Shaoying had been married since their youth. By now, they had been married for nine years, and there might have once been a chance that they could have had a child together.
However, that child came at the wrong time and had been aborted by Jiashan herself.
"Did Your Highness ever love me?"
Zhan Shaoying stood with Jiashan in the inner chamber. His tall figure held his sword with one hand, the sharp tip of the blade resting on the floor.
Zhan Shaoying was not a general, nor had he ever trained in martial arts, which made his posture with the sword somewhat awkward. Under Jiashan's gaze, his movements became noticeably unnatural.
His eyes slightly reddened, Zhan Shaoying pressed his lips into a straight line and said hoarsely, "The princess must have never cared about me, right?"
"What position do I hold in your heart?" Zhan Shaoying turned his head to look at Jiashan, a faint, wistful smile playing on his lips.
Jia Shan tilted her head, examining Zhan Shaoying as if watching a joke.
Her thin lips parted slightly, her eyebrows arched lightly, and her eyes shimmered with ripples: "Is the Prince Consort making fun of my princess mansion again?"
Jiashan had a pair of eyes as bright as morning stars, her complexion was like jade, making her white teeth and starry eyes stand out even more. Unlike the demure charm of other princesses, the touch of red on Jiashan's lips gave her an air of heroic spirit.
However, those once lively eyes now held no emotion.
"Love or not..." Jiashan deliberately paused, "What does it matter to you?"
Her gaze towards Zhan Shaoying was icy, as if she were looking at an object rather than a person.
Zhan Shaoying smiled bitterly.
A cold glint flashed in Jiashan's pupils, her lips slightly upturned. At this moment, she seemed less like a princess and more like a seductive enchantress.
She countered, "If I say I don't love you, does the Prince Consort intend to kill me for that?"
"You hate me, don't you?" Zhan Shaoying interrupted, speaking sadly, "In the past year, I have taken five new concubines but have only visited the princess's mansion four times."
"Your Highness must hate me deeply," Zhan Shaoying seemed to be talking to himself, his gaze fixed on the ground, not daring to look at Jiashan.
Jiashan's voice was crisp as she confirmed with interest, "Really, four times? The Prince Consort remembers better than I do."
Jiashan lazily yawned, "As for those concubines—"
Zhan Shaoying hurriedly raised his head, his reddened eyes locked onto her, as if desperately yearning to hear her next words.
"They are even more irrelevant," Jiashan said dismissively, lying on a soft couch and tapping her fingers lightly on the table. "However, I've heard that Hanzhu seems to be pregnant."
She glanced at Zhan Shaoying for confirmation, only to see his lips tremble slightly, but he said nothing.
Jiashan laughed heartlessly, "The Prince Consort should make arrangements early. She is different from the others; after all, she came from my side."
"I think it would be better to give her some dignity. Please, Prince Consort, elevate her to the status of a concubine," Jiashan said, tilting her head slightly, her tone almost gentle.
Hearing this, Zhan Shaoying's heart couldn't help but ache. He murmured, "Hanzhu..."
His grip on the sword tightened unconsciously. Suddenly, he clutched the hilt fiercely and lifted the blade, the cold tip of the sword pointing directly at Jiashan.
Despite the threatening atmosphere, Jiashan didn't even look at him. She was engrossed in playing with the red lacquer on her nails, seemingly indifferent to her own life and death.
Zhan Shaoying's eyes were dark, a faint, almost invisible trace of hope flickering across his handsome face.
He stared intently at Jiashan and softly spoke, "Your Highness's personal maid climbed into my bed, and you only wish for me to give her some dignity?"
"Then what do you want me to do?" Jiashan smiled gently, her almond-shaped eyes filled with emotion. Her features were both heroic and delicate as she softly said, "Teach me, and I'll tell you."
Zhan Shaoying's eyes felt inexplicably dry, and it took him a moment to find his voice: "Hanzhu told me we once had a child."
Jiashan's long eyelashes fluttered, and she paused, her fingers tightening almost imperceptibly.
"But you chose not to keep him."
"Did I?"
Zhan Shaoying turned slightly, smiling—a cultured, yet pitiable smile.
He stared unblinkingly at Jiashan, his gaze moving from her head of dark hair to her luscious lips.
Today, Jiashan's lips were painted a vivid crimson, the same color as the candles on their wedding day.
Their child, the one he never met, probably turned into a pool of blood just like this when he died.
A self-mocking smile finally emerged on Zhan Shaoying's lips. Shaking his head, he said, "You are truly cruel, Your Highness, my eldest Princess."
"Why do you not even like my child?"
"Do you not have a heart?"
Zhan Shaoying felt as though his throat was blocked with thick sand, suffocating him.
Tears began to roll down his face without him realizing it: "We've been married for nine years, yet you couldn't even bear my child..."
His mouth twisted into an even wider, more pained grin.
He stared hard at Jiashan: "You have never loved me."
He seemed to be speaking both to Jiashan and to himself, repeating in a low voice, "Never."
"Every day of our marriage, has the princess been living in unbearable pain?"
He closed his eyes slightly, warm and tender images fleeting through his mind. His final memory lingered on a sentence someone had said—"My royal sister was born proud; ordinary people can't catch her eye. Has she ever kissed you voluntarily?"
"Try taking a few concubines. If she doesn't react at all, her feelings for you will be clear."
Yes, perfectly clear!
Zhan Shaoying took a deep breath, as if mustering immense courage. He tightly closed his eyes and fiercely thrust the sword forward.
Jiashan's blood quickly stained the blade, yet she did not make a sound.
In her final moments, she closed her eyes tightly, not sparing even a single glance for Zhan Shaoying.
All she felt was the sharp pain from the sword and how it truly hurt her.
A sudden thunderclap roared through the half-bright, half-dark sky.
*
The scorching summer had just passed, and though the afternoon sun was mildly warm, the heat in the courtyard was still oppressive.
Jiashan felt her eyelids grow heavy, yet the dull pain from the sword wound in her chest was no longer as distinct as it had been initially.
She heard fragmented voices around her, as if someone was speaking. She tried hard to open her eyes.
"Her Highness has been afraid of thunder since she was young. It's probably a nightmare. Do we have any of imperial physician Gong's calming medicine left?" A gentle voice said, "Su yu, go and prepare some."
It was the voice of Zheng mama.
Zheng mama had been Jiashan's wet nurse. Since the empress passed away, Zheng mama had stayed by Jiashan's side, never leaving her. She accompanied her out of the palace when she married and built her own residence. When Jiashan's father became gravely ill, she sent Zheng mama back to her hometown to enjoy a peaceful retirement.
Why was Zheng mama here? Had she been harmed too?
Jiashan felt a surge of anger and anxiety. She tried to muster her strength and finally managed to see the people around her clearly.
Zheng mama looked even younger than when she had been sent away. Her face was as kind as ever.
Jiashan opened her mouth. After a long separation, she wanted to say something, but Zheng mama spoke first, delighted: "Your Highness is awake."
"Is there anywhere that feels uncomfortable?" Zheng mama carefully touched Jiashan's little face and gently tucked the quilt around her, making sure no cold air could get in.
Only then did Jiashan notice that Zheng mama was wearing a cotton dress, a fabric unique to the palace. She opened her mouth and instinctively called out softly, "mama."
"Mama is here."
Zheng mama responded with a soft "yes" and gently stroked Jiashan's forehead, as if to wipe away all her fears and anxieties.
She wiped the sweat from Jiashan's cheeks and said softly, "Thunderstorms are common when summer turns to autumn. Don't be afraid, Your Highness. The thunder comes quickly and leaves quickly. I've already instructed Su yu to prepare some calming medicine for you."
Jiashan's eyes were unfocused, as if she hadn't heard Zheng mama's words. She was looking intently at her own hands—
Her hands were white and delicate, without a single wrinkle, as if they had never been touched by time.
Was this really her?
Jiashan's nose tingled with a hint of sourness. She took a deep breath and forced a smile, "Is it already autumn? I must be getting old; my memory isn't what it used to be."
Hearing this, Zheng mama couldn't help but laugh. She gently scratched Jiashan's palm with her thick fingers.
"Your Highness is still so young," Zheng mama said with a cheerful smile. "Even after tomorrow's New Year's Eve, you will only be sixteen. If you talk like this, how can someone my age continue living?"
Was she really not even sixteen yet?
Tears suddenly welled up in Jiashan's eyes.
She choked out, "Mama..."
Zheng mama seemed flustered as well. After a few seconds, she instinctively said, "Don't cry, Your Highness."
In Zheng mama's eyes, Jiashan was not the crying type.
When the empress passed away, Jiashan was only six years old. When she heard of her mother's death, she simply held her two-year-old younger brother tightly.
She was the eldest among her siblings and had learned to be strong from a young age.
Zheng mama gently took out a handkerchief and wiped away Jiashan's tears. She looked at Jiashan's reddened almond-shaped eyes and smiled, "Did you have a bad dream?"
"Our princess is the most noble little princess. Above, you have His Majesty and the ancestors' protection, and below, you have me guarding you." Zheng mama, still smiling, used the handkerchief to wipe away the sweat on Jiashan's forehead. She continued, "Those evil spirits wouldn’t dare to bother us."
Jiashan suddenly smiled and said, "Yes."
She opened her mouth and looked at the carved beams and painted rafters around her, her gaze icy, "I will make sure they don't dare to bother us."
"—Creak."
Su yu pushed open the door and came in with the prepared herbal medicine.
Su yu was an attendant in Jiashan's palace. Before the Empress fell seriously ill, she had always served her. After the Empress passed away, Su yu was transferred to Fengyang Pavilion to serve Jiashan.
Along with Su yu, several other girls were transferred, including Hanzhu, who eventually climbed into Zhan Shaoying's bed.
Seemingly guessing what Jiashan was thinking, Su yu helped her sit up and respectfully said, "Hanzhu seems to have caught the summer heat and has been listless since the afternoon. I was afraid she might pass the illness to you, so I took the liberty of letting her rest first."
Some intentions are cultivated over time, and some matters cannot be settled in a moment.
Jiashan's gaze lowered slightly, "Let her rest then."
Taking the bowl from Su yu's hands, Jiashan said calmly, "I think Dancui is quite capable and clever. For the next few days, let her handle Hanzhu's tasks."
Zheng mama and Su yu exchanged glances, seeing shock and fear in each other's eyes.
Hanzhu had always been the most considerate in front of the princess, despite her laziness. Jiashan, remembering her as an old servant from the Empress’s palace, had always turned a blind eye to her shortcomings.
Why was Jiashan suddenly starting to deal with Hanzhu today?
Su yu was taken aback but remained dutiful and replied, "Yes."
After a moment, she seemed to remember something and quickly smiled. She lowered her voice and said, "While you were asleep, the eunuch Chen from His Majesty's side sent someone to came by. He said that after you wake up, you should go to Qianqing Palace."
Jiashan responded, "Hmm."
Zheng mama had just mentioned that she was fifteen this year. Her father calling for her at this time was likely about her marriage.
She had almost forgotten that she was not yet married.
A faint, cold smile seemed to hover at the corners of Jiashan's mouth.
"Help me change clothes," Jiashan said. "I'll go now."
for advance chapters follow me on ko-fi.
Fei- The Chinese character "妃" (fēi) has multiple meanings, but it is most commonly used to refer to a concubine of an emperor or other high-ranking ruler in traditional Chinese society. Concubines were typically women of noble or commoner birth who had been selected for their beauty, intelligence, or other qualities to serve as companions and potential mothers to the ruler's children. They held a lower status than the empress or primary consort, but they were still considered to be part of the ruler's official family and enjoyed certain privileges and status.
Mama - "嬷嬷" mā mā is often used to refer to an experienced female servant or nurse